


A Little Help From My Friends

by CaptainJZH



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, College, F/M, Future Fic, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, Steven is a good boyfriend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-02
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:46:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25668424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainJZH/pseuds/CaptainJZH
Summary: Connie's been having nightmares, and Steven's there to help.
Relationships: Connie Maheswaran/Steven Universe
Comments: 5
Kudos: 54





	A Little Help From My Friends

It was the second time Connie woke up in a cold sweat, shaking and gasping for breath. She looked around the room, realizing she was safe in her dorm. At first, she didn’t know why she woke up so suddenly. Her dreams were all a blur. Then it came back to her.

_ The Crystal Gems, but white. Blank. Mindless. _

_ Pearl fighting her. Holding her down. _

_ As Steven was grabbed by White Diamond… So  _ big.

She couldn’t finish replaying the visions in her head. She remembered the real thing all too well. 

\---

_ “It scares me that you can't talk to me! I need to know what's happening in your life. I need to step in when you're in over your head.” _

Those words stuck with Connie. Her mother meant it, and proved it to her by always asking how she was doing, what was going on with the Gems, with Steven… But Connie had a sinking feeling that wasn’t what her mother had meant.

She hadn’t gone on a mission with the Gems in years, though admittedly that was because there were very few missions left to do, let alone time in her schedule to do them. So she didn’t  _ feel  _ like she was in over her head.

But then why the nightmares? Connie chose to ignore them. Despite her mother’s words, she still didn’t feel like bringing them up to her. Talking about her problems just made her feel so... _ exposed.  _ And would just make her mother worry. 

The past was the past. She had coursework to deal with. Political science was the  _ real  _ nightmare, after all.

\---

It was the fifth time Connie woke up in the middle of the night. Her dreams weren’t a blur this time. She knew it all in full.

_ Steven’s gem was out. _

_ He was on the floor. No gem. He was weak. _

_ His gem glowed. _

_ Another Steven. _

The last time, she thought about calling Steven. She decided against it then. He was having fun on his own. He had his own issues to deal with. He was just getting over his trauma! Why bring him down again with hers?

This time, she panicked. Connie shakily reached for her phone, wincing as she saw the time was  _ 4:00am.  _ She had school tomorrow, but she didn’t care. She had to talk to him now.

“Connie?” Steven asked on the other end. She wondered why he didn’t sound tired. “Connie, is everything okay?”

“I’m… I need to talk to someone,” Connie said, unsure of her words.

“Is Lion there?” Steven asked. “I can get there in a minute.”

“No, Steven, you don’t—”

_ “Send him.” _

Connie sighed and whistled out the window, with Lion — who had taken up residence out in the courtyard — running up to her. A simple command and a warp portal later, and Steven was thrown through the open window into Connie’s dorm.

“Thanks Lion!” he whispered, knowing that the walls in the dorm were more or less paper thin. He turned his attention to Connie.

“What’s up?”

“You didn’t need to come all this way, and it’s late, I’m sorry,” Connie started to apologize.

“First of all, Califarmland is four hours behind so it’s not that late for me,” Steven interrupted. “Second,  _ yes I did.  _ Third, you don’t have to say sorry. And  _ fourth…  _ What’s wrong?”

Connie let out a half-laugh, half-sigh. Steven really was prime boyfriend material. She had to be honest with him, why else would she have called him?

“I’ve been having nightmares,” Connie said. “About White Diamond.”

Steven was silent, listening to his girlfriend’s words. It encouraged her to continue.

“And I don’t want to bring back these memories for you… I know it’s probably hard for you, but… I still feel so  _ scared?  _ And I wasn’t even the one in danger! You were! And keep seeing you… And that other you… And your gem… And…” 

Connie broke into tears. Steven pulled her into the biggest hug he could muster, kissing his girl on the forehead. “You’re okay, it’s okay,” Steven assured her. “I’m here.”

“And I didn’t want to bring it up to you because I thought it’d bring you back down and I know you’ve made a lot of progress and that’s probably selfish because I know you were like that with me, and…”

Steven grabbed her by the shoulders and forced her eyeline to his. “Hey. It’s okay to be worried about that. But you can tell me  _ anything.  _ Never forget that. _ ” _

“Thanks…”

“And I’ve been feeling the same way too.”

“What?”

“I still have...memories. Of that day. Two sets of memories. It’s weird.”

“Oh, wow,” Connie said, somewhere between astonishment and shock.

“I remember being so  _ afraid.  _ But also being so  _ angry.  _ I guess that was human me and Gem me. So they just mesh together? I guess that’s why I still don’t know how to feel about White. But yeah, just know you’re not alone. _ ” _

Connie hugged him tight. “Do you ever wonder if we did the right thing? Making peace with the Diamonds?”

“Why do you think I barely see them anymore? I only even visit to see Spinel these days. I talked to my therapist about it. She said it’s normal to want the people who hurt us to be punished, but that it seldom gives us peace? Something like that.”

“That’s unfair,” Connie chuckled.

Steven shrugged. “Yeah… I’ve been thinking of just cutting them off. All three of them.”

Connie was surprised by this. “Really?”

“Dr. Brooks suggested it. That sometimes the best thing to do is just let them live their lives and you live yours. Like, if they really changed, then they shouldn’t need me anymore, right?”

Connie nodded. Steven realized he’d taken over the conversation. “Ah shit, did I talk about my problems too much? I’m supposed to be here for  _ you.” _

“No, no, it’s…” Connie sighed. “I feel selfish for not bringing this up sooner.”

“You’re not selfish,” Steven asserted. “You… You know, I never got to thank you. For what you did in White’s head.”

“What do you mean?”

“You helped my human half reach my Gem half. Even with White Diamond going nuts over it. You helped me...become  _ me  _ again. I can never  _ not  _ be grateful for that, Connie.”

Connie held him tighter. “No prob, Bob,” she smiled.

“It’s Steven,” Steven answered, laughing internally at the callback.

“So...what do I do now?” Connie asked, her tears starting to dry.

“Is there a counseling center here or anything? I bet they have free visits. No one else has to know.”

“Yeah. And yeah, they do,” Connie said. “I should make an appointment soon, huh?”

“When you feel ready,” Steven assured her. “And even then, I’ll still be right here. I was the only one who was here, after all.”

“True… Well, you were the only  _ two  _ who were there, technically,” Connie remarked.

“Guess Garnet was right about me being a fusion, heh,” Steven remembered. “Actually, remember that meditation thing Garnet showed us as Stevonnie?” Connie nodded. “Well, I got it to work. With me.  _ Just  _ me. Maybe I could show you?”

Connie smiled. “I’d like that.”

Steven and Connie rearranged themselves on the bed, sitting across from each other. They both took deep breaths, feeling a mental connection growing between them.

Connie opened her eyes, finding herself in a pink mindscape. In front of her were two Stevens: Human Steven and Pink Steven, just like she remembered them, if a bit older.

“Uh… Hi?” Connie asked, nervously.

Human Steven was huddled on the floor, pale and weak. But he wasn’t  _ struggling,  _ which was different the last time she saw him. Pink Steven was standing tall, a blank, emotionless expression on his face.

“He… Hel… Hi,” Human Steven stammered, trying to find the right words, but failing.

“Hello,” Pink Steven began, his voice devoid of life. “You are Connie. Connie is good.”

“That’s good to hear,” Connie said, stifling a laugh.

“You… You’re cute,” Human Steven added. “We… Steven… Likes you.”

“I know,” Connie nodded, blushing. It was like she was getting an impartial look at her boyfriend’s subconscious.

“Thank you,” Pink Steven suddenly said. “For saving us.”

“We… Do not want to be apart,” Human Steven explained.

“Helped us become whole,” Pink Steven concluded.

Connie wanted to say that it was nothing, but she knew that was false modesty. It was  _ something.  _ A very  _ big  _ something.

“You’re welcome,” Connie said, standing up and approaching the two. “You both are.”

Pink Steven and Human Steven looked at each other.  _ “We love you, Connie,”  _ they told her as they pulled her into a hug.

Pink Steven’s gem began to glow, as the pink mindscape around them intensified and got brighter and brighter, until…

Stevonnie opened their eyes, realizing they were back in Connie’s dorm.

“I love me too,” Stevonnie said, hugging themself.

Connie would make an appointment to see a therapist sometime soon, and Steven would have more conversations with her about their shared trauma, but for now? 

Stevonnie was content to be themself, even if it was just for a night.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to e350tb for Beta reading!


End file.
